It has been a while since I've posted.
We've had a birthday, Micah had a major allergy thing going, and both Chris and I have had sinus infections. First Chris and I'm on medicine now.
I thought I'd write about what happened today.
First, a few weeks ago, I told Micah's teacher that she could use Micah's Kindle privileges as leverage when Micah wasn't listening. Well, today Micah lost all Kindle time.
Music class is kind of rough on Micah. I think it's the noise. He loves music, but I think 3 to 5 year olds singing is probably rough on him. I need to make a mental note to mention to Megan that music time is probably a good time to use the weighted vest.
Anyway!
There have been several occasions when Micah insisted on leaving the classroom during music. Him and Megan would walk around some. Today he stayed in class. He was sitting on a chair and not with the other kids. No big deal until he started swinging his legs. He accidentally kicked a kid. He was told to be careful and not swing his legs. It happened again and this time a little girl cried. He was put in time out. After time out it happened again. That is when he lost his Kindle for the day. I honestly think he should lose it for a week, but I think he is too young for that.
Now, I feel horrible that a little girl got hurt from this. Poor thing. But, in Micah's defense...I think he saw a big reaction to something he did and didn't understand that he hurt someone.
Megan told me what happened and we talked to Micah. I explained that he hurt his friend and that he doesn't like to get hurt. Micah then apologized to her. I told Micah that he has to listen to Mrs. Megan and because Micah didn't listen and because he hurt someone he did not get to play with his Kindle. I felt like he understood, at this point, that he hurt her. It's part of why he needs socialization. He is such a happy kid, he interprets a lot of emotions as happy or funny. Once I explained, he realized it wasn't a joke.
Poor Megan. Micah was a little upset with her. He didn't give her a smile when we left.
I was really dreading bedtime because Micah spends about 30 min in bed playing with his Kindle. It's a good bedtime routine. When he went to bed today, he knew he didn't get his Kindle. He said, "No Kindle cause I made crying." (He is working on pronouns) He didn't cry. I sang to him, kissed him, told him about tomorrow, and that was that.
I think it was a successful punishment.
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
4 years old
Micah is going to be 4 this Saturday. He was born on Texas' Independence Day. I think that is cool. Also, his birthday is my Dad's "half-birthday" and my Dad's is his "half-birthday". (the 6 month mark from his birthday)
I really wanted to have a big gymnastics party for Micah, but that didn't work out. We will probably go to Sea World. He loves going there.
Micah's birthday is also my cue to plan for summer. I think we will be spending a lot of time at the library this summer. Living in town gives us the chance to do so much more. It is nice to have things so close.
Last week was long and hard. We're still feeling the fall out from it. I decided to try to use the Kindle to potty train Micah. I took it away if he went in his pants and gave it back if he went in the potty. He basically just blew off the Kindle all together. I could tell it was stressing him out. I know I was stressed. I stopped and went back to our normal stuff.
I know he will potty train...I just wish it was sooner rather than later. With reading I knew he would be reading quite a bit when he was 3. I knew he would walk before he was 2. Potty training is different. I know it will happen, but I don't know when or how. I just don't want to stress him out too much.
I am going to go cuddle with the kiddo.
Have a great week.
-J
I really wanted to have a big gymnastics party for Micah, but that didn't work out. We will probably go to Sea World. He loves going there.
Micah's birthday is also my cue to plan for summer. I think we will be spending a lot of time at the library this summer. Living in town gives us the chance to do so much more. It is nice to have things so close.
Last week was long and hard. We're still feeling the fall out from it. I decided to try to use the Kindle to potty train Micah. I took it away if he went in his pants and gave it back if he went in the potty. He basically just blew off the Kindle all together. I could tell it was stressing him out. I know I was stressed. I stopped and went back to our normal stuff.
I know he will potty train...I just wish it was sooner rather than later. With reading I knew he would be reading quite a bit when he was 3. I knew he would walk before he was 2. Potty training is different. I know it will happen, but I don't know when or how. I just don't want to stress him out too much.
I am going to go cuddle with the kiddo.
Have a great week.
-J
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Invisible Lines
Life is full of invisible lines. These lines can be broken into a lot of different categories, but since this blog is about Micah, I won't go into all of that.
Parenting has some difficult lines. It's easy to decide where a lot of life's lines are when it involves just you, but the decisions we have to make as parents always feel so much bigger. There is no way we can guess the implications of our decisions.
Potty training is a line. At what point do I take away Micah's Kindle and tell him he IS going to potty train. He doesn't see a point in potty training right now. He knows what to do. He isn't scared of the process anymore. He has told Chris a few times that he had to go number two and went to the potty. All of the signs are there that it is time, but the decision is when do I start pushing him? I have read and heard a lot about how important it is to potty train properly, but what does that even mean?
Teaching Micah is another line. Micah is ready to tackle addition and subtraction. I have worked with him on it and he gets it. I know that if I make math time at home a regular thing, he will be very comfortable with it by this summer. But, he is just going to be 4. Micah ADORES learning, but is there a point where he will be too far ahead?
I want Micah to learn piano. Lessons will cost $120/month. There is some great software I found that will teach Micah piano and how to read music. It's about $100/6 months. The software is much easier on the budget, but how much computer time is too much?
I've also been told joining the YMCA would be very good for Micah. Equine therapy is supposed to be great. Oh, getting a dog. Gymnastics has been great. There is occupational therapy. He does speech therapy at school. There are parenting groups you can join to help with Autism. I can request someone to come to the house to help him with stimming. I've considered yoga and tai chi to help him with stimming. How much therapy is too much? At what point do I help him get over things and when do I decide that he is who he is. When is there too much "fixing"?
These are decisions I am making. Some of the decisions are easy. I will be getting Micah the piano software. A dog can't happen right now because we live in an apartment. I don't want therapy at my house. We're not doing Equine therapy at this point and I don't want to join a parenting group. Micah is going to lose his Kindle soon for potty training. I am going to explain that the Kindle is for big boys and if he "number twos" in his diaper, he loses it. He needs that push. We're going to be doing more and more math and I am looking to see if I can find a kid's yoga DVD that him and I can do together.
Autism seems to add to the parenting invisible lines. Micah doesn't process and communicate the way other kids do. I have to take this into consideration and remind myself to be patient. These lines are going to get more difficult as he grows up, but as he grows, he is going to be more involved in these decisions. It's going to be fun.
Have a good one,
Jozlin
Parenting has some difficult lines. It's easy to decide where a lot of life's lines are when it involves just you, but the decisions we have to make as parents always feel so much bigger. There is no way we can guess the implications of our decisions.
Potty training is a line. At what point do I take away Micah's Kindle and tell him he IS going to potty train. He doesn't see a point in potty training right now. He knows what to do. He isn't scared of the process anymore. He has told Chris a few times that he had to go number two and went to the potty. All of the signs are there that it is time, but the decision is when do I start pushing him? I have read and heard a lot about how important it is to potty train properly, but what does that even mean?
Teaching Micah is another line. Micah is ready to tackle addition and subtraction. I have worked with him on it and he gets it. I know that if I make math time at home a regular thing, he will be very comfortable with it by this summer. But, he is just going to be 4. Micah ADORES learning, but is there a point where he will be too far ahead?
I want Micah to learn piano. Lessons will cost $120/month. There is some great software I found that will teach Micah piano and how to read music. It's about $100/6 months. The software is much easier on the budget, but how much computer time is too much?
I've also been told joining the YMCA would be very good for Micah. Equine therapy is supposed to be great. Oh, getting a dog. Gymnastics has been great. There is occupational therapy. He does speech therapy at school. There are parenting groups you can join to help with Autism. I can request someone to come to the house to help him with stimming. I've considered yoga and tai chi to help him with stimming. How much therapy is too much? At what point do I help him get over things and when do I decide that he is who he is. When is there too much "fixing"?
These are decisions I am making. Some of the decisions are easy. I will be getting Micah the piano software. A dog can't happen right now because we live in an apartment. I don't want therapy at my house. We're not doing Equine therapy at this point and I don't want to join a parenting group. Micah is going to lose his Kindle soon for potty training. I am going to explain that the Kindle is for big boys and if he "number twos" in his diaper, he loses it. He needs that push. We're going to be doing more and more math and I am looking to see if I can find a kid's yoga DVD that him and I can do together.
Autism seems to add to the parenting invisible lines. Micah doesn't process and communicate the way other kids do. I have to take this into consideration and remind myself to be patient. These lines are going to get more difficult as he grows up, but as he grows, he is going to be more involved in these decisions. It's going to be fun.
Have a good one,
Jozlin
Monday, February 11, 2013
Let's Pretend
Children with Autism are typically not good at imaginative play. We have been working with Micah on this for a while. He mimics what we teach him, but I have never seen him play pretend without having first learned how. This mimicking is what makes it difficult for some to see the Autism.
Micah is great at learning. He knows there are things he is supposed to do and once he learns a process, he will do what he is supposed to do. For example, saying hi to people. He is learning that when someone says hi, you say hi back. Now, he doesn't always look at the person he is talking to and he still likes to say bye to people from the car, but he is learning.
I wasn't a big imaginative play kid. It made no sense to me why I was supposed to pretend to be a baby doll's mother. I liked to throw it in the air and see how many times I could make it flip. So, I have to make a point to pretend with Micah. (This is another reason I am glad he is in school)
The other day Micah and I were watching Avatar. (The Last Airbender...not the blue people.) We like to cuddle up and watch cartoons. Anyway, Micah pointed to himself and said, "I am Aang."
Aang is the main character. He was born into the Air Tribe and can bend air. He is also the Avatar. Only the Avatar can bend all 4 elements. Air, Water, Earth, Fire.
I was happy to hear Micah say that he was Aang. That showed original imaginative play. (He came up with it on his own.)
Yesterday, he blew me away.
He had his blanket and was moving it around like a ribbon dancer and saying, I'm Aang the Avatar. I'm an air bender! He was pretending to bend earth, fire, and water as well. He told me I was Katara. (Aang's friend. She is a water bender) He decided that Chris would be Sokka, but since Sokka isn't a bender Micah said that Chris could bend earth.
We didn't make a huge deal of it. We played with him, but didn't cheer him on or act like it was anything different. I think it is important for Micah to do things for himself and not for constant praise. There is a fine line between encouraging you child and praising every little thing they do. I don't want him to become overly dependent on praise. I'd hate for him to feel like there isn't a point in doing something unless someone is there to clap for him. I may be over thinking it, but oh well.
I'm so excited that Micah played pretend. It shows he is learning and understanding things that are a little tricky for him. The playtime lasted about 20 min and he had a lot of fun. It is great to see him grow.
Have a great week,
jozlin
Micah is great at learning. He knows there are things he is supposed to do and once he learns a process, he will do what he is supposed to do. For example, saying hi to people. He is learning that when someone says hi, you say hi back. Now, he doesn't always look at the person he is talking to and he still likes to say bye to people from the car, but he is learning.
I wasn't a big imaginative play kid. It made no sense to me why I was supposed to pretend to be a baby doll's mother. I liked to throw it in the air and see how many times I could make it flip. So, I have to make a point to pretend with Micah. (This is another reason I am glad he is in school)
The other day Micah and I were watching Avatar. (The Last Airbender...not the blue people.) We like to cuddle up and watch cartoons. Anyway, Micah pointed to himself and said, "I am Aang."
Aang is the main character. He was born into the Air Tribe and can bend air. He is also the Avatar. Only the Avatar can bend all 4 elements. Air, Water, Earth, Fire.
I was happy to hear Micah say that he was Aang. That showed original imaginative play. (He came up with it on his own.)
Yesterday, he blew me away.
He had his blanket and was moving it around like a ribbon dancer and saying, I'm Aang the Avatar. I'm an air bender! He was pretending to bend earth, fire, and water as well. He told me I was Katara. (Aang's friend. She is a water bender) He decided that Chris would be Sokka, but since Sokka isn't a bender Micah said that Chris could bend earth.
We didn't make a huge deal of it. We played with him, but didn't cheer him on or act like it was anything different. I think it is important for Micah to do things for himself and not for constant praise. There is a fine line between encouraging you child and praising every little thing they do. I don't want him to become overly dependent on praise. I'd hate for him to feel like there isn't a point in doing something unless someone is there to clap for him. I may be over thinking it, but oh well.
I'm so excited that Micah played pretend. It shows he is learning and understanding things that are a little tricky for him. The playtime lasted about 20 min and he had a lot of fun. It is great to see him grow.
Have a great week,
jozlin
Monday, February 4, 2013
The ARD
Micah's "Big Daddy ARD" was last Thursday. It went well. Chris had the day off. We took Micah to school and then stayed for Coffee and Conversations. The Superintendent was there for questions and Chris and I pretended to know what they were talking about.
It was entertaining. There is going to be a vote on a bond for a lot of improvements to the school district. The biggest one being Micah's school being re-build elsewhere. The school is older and it can be re-purposed into offices for the district. There were all sorts of people there. There was tax Mom. All the questions she had revolved around taxes. There were people who were concerned about all sorts of things. There was laptop Mom. I think she was checking her email. Apparently she is on some committee and she would give other parents the funniest looks. Parents have been testing the schools for safety and one parent talked about how her and a neighbor went to one of the Jr High schools to check out each others kids. They wanted to see if they would check ID's and such. So the mom was complaining that they didn't check. One dad said that part of safety is teaching your kids not to go with strangers. He said, "It's not like they shove your kid in a van just because that person checked your kid out.' Chris and I thought that was the best part of the entire meeting. Coffee was #2.
After the coffee thing, we ran back home to pick up Bob (my brother) and went straight back in to go to the ARD. I was nervous and kinda hyped up on strong coffee.
ARD meetings are tedious. There are things that have to be legally said and reviewed. There was a lot of paperwork involved, but it wasn't too bad. We laughed and talked about how amazing Micah is. He has some work to do. Sometimes he does things that disrupts the classroom. He has a habit of getting up when he is supposed to be sitting down and paying attention. He needs work on communication and being social. He doesn't look the other children in the eyes.
He has already improved on goals they put on his IEP. (Individual Education Plan) I got to see some of the stuff Megan has made for him. The new protocol sheet has Velcro and they can move the pictures around to make sure he doesn't get stuck in a pattern. Micah's teachers use patterns of behavior to help encourage him to learn new things and they do things to make sure he doesn't get stuck into a pattern. I am so glad I am not the only one teaching him anymore. There is a speech therapist, a teacher, a special education teacher, and an occupational therapist who comes in to give ideas. His class has 2 teaching assistants and another teacher who is in the class. There are the Kinder teachers, assistants, lunch room peeps, the adults he waves to as we walk up to the school, volunteers, subs, and SO many other people pouring into his life. I work to teach Micah everything I can, but there is no way he would be as far along as he is without others helping me.
They asked me if I want to let Micah take the bus to school. It is very tempting. Micah has always wanted to ride a bus. He thinks they are cool and I know he would enjoy it. Also, that would mean one less thing for me to do. I may do this for him next year. I'll miss dropping him off and picking him up. I love seeing all the kids and people, but I think it will be good for him. I think mornings would go much smoother if he got to get on the bus every morning. (Sometimes he isn't very motivated to go to school...or wear a jacket. Even if it is 30 degrees outside.)
Overall, the ARD was great. I like the team of people who work with Micah. They all adore him, so naturally I think they are brilliant. None of them take the process too seriously and are able to smile and joke. The district is dedicated to thinking outside the educational box. This is very important with all children, but crucial when teaching a kid like Micah. It was one of the things the Superintendent talked about at the coffee thing.
Today we skipped gymnastics. Micah tripped over his own feet and hit his head. He has a big smushy bruise on his head. I didn't want to chance him falling in gymnastics and hitting the same spot. Just seemed best to play it safe. Plus, the kiddo is tired. Mondays we get up a little earlier and leave early for speech therapy. He goes first thing Monday mornings. He hasn't even asked to go to gymnastics, so it wasn't too disappointing for Micah.
Have a good week. I think I'll be writing my next post on how I got Micah to start talking.
-jozlin
It was entertaining. There is going to be a vote on a bond for a lot of improvements to the school district. The biggest one being Micah's school being re-build elsewhere. The school is older and it can be re-purposed into offices for the district. There were all sorts of people there. There was tax Mom. All the questions she had revolved around taxes. There were people who were concerned about all sorts of things. There was laptop Mom. I think she was checking her email. Apparently she is on some committee and she would give other parents the funniest looks. Parents have been testing the schools for safety and one parent talked about how her and a neighbor went to one of the Jr High schools to check out each others kids. They wanted to see if they would check ID's and such. So the mom was complaining that they didn't check. One dad said that part of safety is teaching your kids not to go with strangers. He said, "It's not like they shove your kid in a van just because that person checked your kid out.' Chris and I thought that was the best part of the entire meeting. Coffee was #2.
After the coffee thing, we ran back home to pick up Bob (my brother) and went straight back in to go to the ARD. I was nervous and kinda hyped up on strong coffee.
ARD meetings are tedious. There are things that have to be legally said and reviewed. There was a lot of paperwork involved, but it wasn't too bad. We laughed and talked about how amazing Micah is. He has some work to do. Sometimes he does things that disrupts the classroom. He has a habit of getting up when he is supposed to be sitting down and paying attention. He needs work on communication and being social. He doesn't look the other children in the eyes.
He has already improved on goals they put on his IEP. (Individual Education Plan) I got to see some of the stuff Megan has made for him. The new protocol sheet has Velcro and they can move the pictures around to make sure he doesn't get stuck in a pattern. Micah's teachers use patterns of behavior to help encourage him to learn new things and they do things to make sure he doesn't get stuck into a pattern. I am so glad I am not the only one teaching him anymore. There is a speech therapist, a teacher, a special education teacher, and an occupational therapist who comes in to give ideas. His class has 2 teaching assistants and another teacher who is in the class. There are the Kinder teachers, assistants, lunch room peeps, the adults he waves to as we walk up to the school, volunteers, subs, and SO many other people pouring into his life. I work to teach Micah everything I can, but there is no way he would be as far along as he is without others helping me.
They asked me if I want to let Micah take the bus to school. It is very tempting. Micah has always wanted to ride a bus. He thinks they are cool and I know he would enjoy it. Also, that would mean one less thing for me to do. I may do this for him next year. I'll miss dropping him off and picking him up. I love seeing all the kids and people, but I think it will be good for him. I think mornings would go much smoother if he got to get on the bus every morning. (Sometimes he isn't very motivated to go to school...or wear a jacket. Even if it is 30 degrees outside.)
Overall, the ARD was great. I like the team of people who work with Micah. They all adore him, so naturally I think they are brilliant. None of them take the process too seriously and are able to smile and joke. The district is dedicated to thinking outside the educational box. This is very important with all children, but crucial when teaching a kid like Micah. It was one of the things the Superintendent talked about at the coffee thing.
Today we skipped gymnastics. Micah tripped over his own feet and hit his head. He has a big smushy bruise on his head. I didn't want to chance him falling in gymnastics and hitting the same spot. Just seemed best to play it safe. Plus, the kiddo is tired. Mondays we get up a little earlier and leave early for speech therapy. He goes first thing Monday mornings. He hasn't even asked to go to gymnastics, so it wasn't too disappointing for Micah.
Have a good week. I think I'll be writing my next post on how I got Micah to start talking.
-jozlin
Saturday, February 2, 2013
My biggest fear...
When I was a kid, I was teased. My forehead is bigger than what is considered normal. (so they told me) There was this one boy who would run up to me, touch my forehead, and run off yelling, "I touched it! I touched it!" It bothered me, but probably not as much as it would some. The guy who did that was not the brightest crayon in the box and he had plenty of things to be made fun of for. I didn't stoop to his level and jab back at him. I just felt sorry for him. I don't even remember his name.
That was Jr High and as much as I wish it wasn't true, kids can be mean. I had one girl tell me that I would NEVER have a boyfriend and if a guy ever showed interest in me, then go for it because it would probably be my only chance. Isn't that horrible? It made me feel horrible until I realized that the guy she was into liked me instead.
I was lucky to be a logical kid. Even so, the teasing hurt. I know some people who were consumed by it. There was one girl who caused our entire group of girls to end up in a meeting with the counselor because she was saying bad things about everyone. She wanted friends, but she ended up with a bunch of enemies.
Today bullying is a big issue. I think everyone can come up with stories of being treated badly by those around them. People are trying to bring awareness and provide help to the victims, but we still read in the news about kids who have killed themselves because of how they are treated. Kids who are different are tormented.
Micah is different.
Micah has some major stimming behaviors. The other day I was worried he was having a seizure because he was so "deep" into a stimming behavior that I couldn't get him to snap out of it. (it wasn't a seizure) He is also very smart and loves learning. He is going to be into books and math. He adores science and computers. He is going to be a nerd and until he masters the stimming, he is going to stand out more than he normally would.
This is why I am not afraid to tell people that Micah is Autistic. Not because I want to explain away his behaviors, but because I want to help bring awareness. When I see someone at the store give Micah a confused look because he is stimming, I tell them that Micah is Autistic. I am very open about this and usually get asked a lot of questions. I explain that Micah is very smart and tell them about the things he can do, but also explain what stimming is and why he does it.
This one lady at Walmart asked if Micah would be allowed to go to school. My first thought was a small flash of anger, but it was quickly followed by thankfulness. I talked to her for about 30 minutes. She had a very archaic view of Special Education and I was able to give her some information. I ended the conversation when she started hinting to me to fix her computer. ;)
If I treat Autism like a secret or something to be ashamed of, Micah will see that and follow my example. If I try to force him to stop stimming all the time and treat the behavior as something he is doing wrong, others will treat him the same way. Micah is different and unless I can celebrate those differences he will not understand how special he is. His biggest defense against those who would bring him down is confidence in the knowledge that he is special.
I can't be with him where ever he goes. I can't protect him from everything. He will be teased and made fun of. I am doing everything I can to help him get in control of the stimming and learning how to compensate, but I don't know how much it will help. Honestly, I don't know if he will ever totally stop. I can't know that for sure. I have hope and work towards that goal, but I have to be honest with myself and know that I can only do my best. It is my duty to prepare him for the world.
My biggest fear is not that Micah will be made fun of. He will. My biggest fear is that he will take what others say about him to heart and that he will let it change him.
That is why part of my job with Micah is to work to make sure that he knows who he is. That he understands his strengths and his weaknesses. I want Micah to look in a mirror and like what he sees and know that his parents are so proud of him. We are raising Micah to understand that he can come talk to us. If we tell him to go to bed and he says, "No. Later Mommy." I say, "Okay baby. You have 5 minutes." I want to know we listen to him and take him seriously.
The most important thing I can teach him is to love himself. We all have things we need to work on, but this must always be done from a place of love. If we can't love ourselves, how can we love those around us. If we don't love those around us, how can we have a positive impact on this world.
I was in 6th grade. These two girls started making fun of me. They were harsh too. I was new to the school and an easy target. I have never been one to fight fire with fire. I started to say hi to them and complement them before they could make fun of me. I'd call them buddy and tell them that their hair looked nice. Sometimes I just said hi. They stopped making fun of me and joined in. It became a game to see who could say something nice first. Years later we were friends. Not close friends, but friends. I asked them why they made fun of me. They said they were just bored and mean, but thanked me for being nice anyway. (honestly...at first I was being sarcastic)
Bullies must be dealt with. Micah needs to learn to stand up for himself, but also understand that he must not stoop to their level. I may have started by being sarcastic, but it was to help with the hurt I felt towards them for being mean.
Like I said, all I can do is my best.
love,
jozlin
That was Jr High and as much as I wish it wasn't true, kids can be mean. I had one girl tell me that I would NEVER have a boyfriend and if a guy ever showed interest in me, then go for it because it would probably be my only chance. Isn't that horrible? It made me feel horrible until I realized that the guy she was into liked me instead.
I was lucky to be a logical kid. Even so, the teasing hurt. I know some people who were consumed by it. There was one girl who caused our entire group of girls to end up in a meeting with the counselor because she was saying bad things about everyone. She wanted friends, but she ended up with a bunch of enemies.
Today bullying is a big issue. I think everyone can come up with stories of being treated badly by those around them. People are trying to bring awareness and provide help to the victims, but we still read in the news about kids who have killed themselves because of how they are treated. Kids who are different are tormented.
Micah is different.
Micah has some major stimming behaviors. The other day I was worried he was having a seizure because he was so "deep" into a stimming behavior that I couldn't get him to snap out of it. (it wasn't a seizure) He is also very smart and loves learning. He is going to be into books and math. He adores science and computers. He is going to be a nerd and until he masters the stimming, he is going to stand out more than he normally would.
This is why I am not afraid to tell people that Micah is Autistic. Not because I want to explain away his behaviors, but because I want to help bring awareness. When I see someone at the store give Micah a confused look because he is stimming, I tell them that Micah is Autistic. I am very open about this and usually get asked a lot of questions. I explain that Micah is very smart and tell them about the things he can do, but also explain what stimming is and why he does it.
This one lady at Walmart asked if Micah would be allowed to go to school. My first thought was a small flash of anger, but it was quickly followed by thankfulness. I talked to her for about 30 minutes. She had a very archaic view of Special Education and I was able to give her some information. I ended the conversation when she started hinting to me to fix her computer. ;)
If I treat Autism like a secret or something to be ashamed of, Micah will see that and follow my example. If I try to force him to stop stimming all the time and treat the behavior as something he is doing wrong, others will treat him the same way. Micah is different and unless I can celebrate those differences he will not understand how special he is. His biggest defense against those who would bring him down is confidence in the knowledge that he is special.
I can't be with him where ever he goes. I can't protect him from everything. He will be teased and made fun of. I am doing everything I can to help him get in control of the stimming and learning how to compensate, but I don't know how much it will help. Honestly, I don't know if he will ever totally stop. I can't know that for sure. I have hope and work towards that goal, but I have to be honest with myself and know that I can only do my best. It is my duty to prepare him for the world.
My biggest fear is not that Micah will be made fun of. He will. My biggest fear is that he will take what others say about him to heart and that he will let it change him.
That is why part of my job with Micah is to work to make sure that he knows who he is. That he understands his strengths and his weaknesses. I want Micah to look in a mirror and like what he sees and know that his parents are so proud of him. We are raising Micah to understand that he can come talk to us. If we tell him to go to bed and he says, "No. Later Mommy." I say, "Okay baby. You have 5 minutes." I want to know we listen to him and take him seriously.
The most important thing I can teach him is to love himself. We all have things we need to work on, but this must always be done from a place of love. If we can't love ourselves, how can we love those around us. If we don't love those around us, how can we have a positive impact on this world.
I was in 6th grade. These two girls started making fun of me. They were harsh too. I was new to the school and an easy target. I have never been one to fight fire with fire. I started to say hi to them and complement them before they could make fun of me. I'd call them buddy and tell them that their hair looked nice. Sometimes I just said hi. They stopped making fun of me and joined in. It became a game to see who could say something nice first. Years later we were friends. Not close friends, but friends. I asked them why they made fun of me. They said they were just bored and mean, but thanked me for being nice anyway. (honestly...at first I was being sarcastic)
Bullies must be dealt with. Micah needs to learn to stand up for himself, but also understand that he must not stoop to their level. I may have started by being sarcastic, but it was to help with the hurt I felt towards them for being mean.
Like I said, all I can do is my best.
love,
jozlin
Friday, February 1, 2013
tired
Micah's ARD went very well.
There are things he needs to work on, but Megan said that he is already showing improvement. We got to see some of the charts and hear about the things that they do to help Micah out. It was nice to be in an ARD with a group of people who really like your kid.
I would explain more, but I am so very tired. I guess I was more stressed about the ARD than I realized. I don't know why. It explains all the weird dreams though.
I have a post that I am editing. I'll post it by tomorrow.
Micah's birthday is only a month away!
-jozlin
There are things he needs to work on, but Megan said that he is already showing improvement. We got to see some of the charts and hear about the things that they do to help Micah out. It was nice to be in an ARD with a group of people who really like your kid.
I would explain more, but I am so very tired. I guess I was more stressed about the ARD than I realized. I don't know why. It explains all the weird dreams though.
I have a post that I am editing. I'll post it by tomorrow.
Micah's birthday is only a month away!
-jozlin
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
School, teachers, and protocol sheets.
Micah had been sick, but is back in school today. He loves school so much. Micah is in what is called PPCD. It stands for Preschool Program for Children with Disabilities. Many people would not see it by looking at Micah, but he is considered disabled and is in the Special Education program at his school. I love his school and the town we live in. There are some great people who have worked hard to make sure Micah is able to thrive.
Tomorrow we have what I have been referring too as his BIG DADDY ARD. An ARD is a long meeting where we go over Micah's educational plan for the next year. ARD stands for Admission Review and Dismissal. The ARD tomorrow should be interesting because we have to go over Micah's testing. I have been over 4 or 5 sets of paperwork that total to at least 40 pages. I'm tempted to bring tacos or cookies or something, but we will see. I'm also going to something called Coffee and Conversations. I have a feeling this is where I'll end up being signed up for the PTO, but there is coffee and it was bound to happen at some point. I've been meaning to join.
Generally, ARDs can be seen as very boring and dull, but I find them interesting. It is a bunch of adults who are all gathered around to talk about my favorite person. Plus, my other favorite person will be there. Chris! Yup. Chris asked off for the BIG ARD. We had an ARD not too long ago, but it was a temporary placement ARD. Speaking of Chris, guess who is going to be writing post here every once and a while? Chris! Gosh I love that man. He is truly dedicated to Micah and myself. His favorite thing in the world is coming home to us.
Another person I'd like to see write a post for the website is Micah's teacher.(I should probably ask...Hey Megan!) Micah has been blessed with two wonderful teachers. (There was a third, but we like to pretend that didn't happen.) Mrs Mata was his first teacher. He started with her when he was 3 years old and boy does he love Mrs Mata. He still talks about her. When we moved, I was worried that there would be no way to find a teacher like Mrs Mata, and we didn't. Mrs Mata is a special, amazing teacher and could never be replaced, but we did find Mrs Megan.
Mrs Megan is one of the most adorable wonderful teachers I have seen. Mrs Mata was like another mother to Micah and Mrs Megan is like an amazing big sister. I could actually watch Micah start to love her. When we talk about going to school, it is all about going to see Mrs Megan. Megan has made Micah what I refer to as protocol sheets. (A list of things to do when he goes potty or gets to class) She tries new things and has really taken time to get to know Micah. She has joined in on experimenting and trying to come up with ways to help Micah learn and grow. She is one of those teachers who loves her job and works with all her heart. We are in constant communication about Micah and the things we can do to try to help him. It has been amazing to see him adapt, connect, and learn at his new school.
I have been considering making him protocol sheets for home. They help him a lot because he can see and read what he is supposed to do in different situations. Micah doesn't always understand social situations, but when I explain it to him, he understands. Once he does something a few times, it becomes a habit and he doesn't need the sheet anymore. The debate has to do with dependency. Megan and I are afraid that Micah will become too dependent on the sheets (if I make them for home as well) and will feel like he can't function without a sheet telling him what to do. As of now, I talk to Micah and remind him of what he is supposed to do. It works most of the time. As long as it continues to work, I'll hold off on the protocol sheets.
Tomorrow we have what I have been referring too as his BIG DADDY ARD. An ARD is a long meeting where we go over Micah's educational plan for the next year. ARD stands for Admission Review and Dismissal. The ARD tomorrow should be interesting because we have to go over Micah's testing. I have been over 4 or 5 sets of paperwork that total to at least 40 pages. I'm tempted to bring tacos or cookies or something, but we will see. I'm also going to something called Coffee and Conversations. I have a feeling this is where I'll end up being signed up for the PTO, but there is coffee and it was bound to happen at some point. I've been meaning to join.
Generally, ARDs can be seen as very boring and dull, but I find them interesting. It is a bunch of adults who are all gathered around to talk about my favorite person. Plus, my other favorite person will be there. Chris! Yup. Chris asked off for the BIG ARD. We had an ARD not too long ago, but it was a temporary placement ARD. Speaking of Chris, guess who is going to be writing post here every once and a while? Chris! Gosh I love that man. He is truly dedicated to Micah and myself. His favorite thing in the world is coming home to us.
Another person I'd like to see write a post for the website is Micah's teacher.(I should probably ask...Hey Megan!) Micah has been blessed with two wonderful teachers. (There was a third, but we like to pretend that didn't happen.) Mrs Mata was his first teacher. He started with her when he was 3 years old and boy does he love Mrs Mata. He still talks about her. When we moved, I was worried that there would be no way to find a teacher like Mrs Mata, and we didn't. Mrs Mata is a special, amazing teacher and could never be replaced, but we did find Mrs Megan.
Mrs Megan is one of the most adorable wonderful teachers I have seen. Mrs Mata was like another mother to Micah and Mrs Megan is like an amazing big sister. I could actually watch Micah start to love her. When we talk about going to school, it is all about going to see Mrs Megan. Megan has made Micah what I refer to as protocol sheets. (A list of things to do when he goes potty or gets to class) She tries new things and has really taken time to get to know Micah. She has joined in on experimenting and trying to come up with ways to help Micah learn and grow. She is one of those teachers who loves her job and works with all her heart. We are in constant communication about Micah and the things we can do to try to help him. It has been amazing to see him adapt, connect, and learn at his new school.
I have been considering making him protocol sheets for home. They help him a lot because he can see and read what he is supposed to do in different situations. Micah doesn't always understand social situations, but when I explain it to him, he understands. Once he does something a few times, it becomes a habit and he doesn't need the sheet anymore. The debate has to do with dependency. Megan and I are afraid that Micah will become too dependent on the sheets (if I make them for home as well) and will feel like he can't function without a sheet telling him what to do. As of now, I talk to Micah and remind him of what he is supposed to do. It works most of the time. As long as it continues to work, I'll hold off on the protocol sheets.
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
SPD
Sensory Processing Disorder explained
The link above is to a great video explaining Sensory Processing Disorder. Chris and I didn't fully get what Micah was dealing with until we watched it. I love the fact that the video is explained by a kid with SPD.
Micah flaps. I have tried to figure out a trigger, but I don't think there is one. He flaps most when he is excited and tired. Most of the time, it isn't a bad thing. It is seen as "weird" and sometimes I get looks and questions from strangers, but it doesn't hurt him. The only time it really bothers me is when he also does the facial ticks.
Micah has had 2 seizures. I plan on writing a seizure post soon. His seizures are not the big scary grand mal type. They are focal seizures that are focused just above his right jaw line. The facial ticks he does reminds me of the seizures he has had. Big difference is he goes blank during a seizure.
Sometimes Micah will rock or spin and he runs...a lot.
I put our couch pillows around the house to slow him down. It doesn't stop him and sometimes it seems like he is getting too worked up by the running. When that happens, I put his vest on him.
His vest is cute. It has a dolphin head on the front and the tail on the back. It is weighted and it fits him pretty tight. The idea is that the vest helps give him the stimulation he is seeking from the stimming behaviors. When I use it at home, he stops running and is able to calm down.
I really want to get him a weighted blanket, but they are expensive. I am looking at maybe trying to make him one myself. That way he can help me pick the fabric and that will help make it special.
The occupational therapist with Micah's school is going to be coming in to see him in a few weeks. I am going to ask if I can visit with her and see if I can pick her brain for some ideas on how to help him. It is probably going to just be something he has to grow out of and work through on his own. Micah's teacher and I are trying to stay consistent between school and home. We have both seen improvements.
Have a great day!
-jozlin
The link above is to a great video explaining Sensory Processing Disorder. Chris and I didn't fully get what Micah was dealing with until we watched it. I love the fact that the video is explained by a kid with SPD.
Micah flaps. I have tried to figure out a trigger, but I don't think there is one. He flaps most when he is excited and tired. Most of the time, it isn't a bad thing. It is seen as "weird" and sometimes I get looks and questions from strangers, but it doesn't hurt him. The only time it really bothers me is when he also does the facial ticks.
Micah has had 2 seizures. I plan on writing a seizure post soon. His seizures are not the big scary grand mal type. They are focal seizures that are focused just above his right jaw line. The facial ticks he does reminds me of the seizures he has had. Big difference is he goes blank during a seizure.
Sometimes Micah will rock or spin and he runs...a lot.
I put our couch pillows around the house to slow him down. It doesn't stop him and sometimes it seems like he is getting too worked up by the running. When that happens, I put his vest on him.
His vest is cute. It has a dolphin head on the front and the tail on the back. It is weighted and it fits him pretty tight. The idea is that the vest helps give him the stimulation he is seeking from the stimming behaviors. When I use it at home, he stops running and is able to calm down.
I really want to get him a weighted blanket, but they are expensive. I am looking at maybe trying to make him one myself. That way he can help me pick the fabric and that will help make it special.
The occupational therapist with Micah's school is going to be coming in to see him in a few weeks. I am going to ask if I can visit with her and see if I can pick her brain for some ideas on how to help him. It is probably going to just be something he has to grow out of and work through on his own. Micah's teacher and I are trying to stay consistent between school and home. We have both seen improvements.
Have a great day!
-jozlin
Monday, January 28, 2013
The Bad Days
Micah is an angel...mostly. Just this last Sunday we had someone compliment us on Micah's behavior in a restaurant. I see Moms at the store having a hard time with their children and turn and tell Micah that I love him and how wonderful he is. But, we do have bad days.
Bad days are usually a combination of Micah being tired, Mommy being tired, and communication issues with Micah.
Micah doesn't understand that Chris and I are in charge. To make it worse, I can't find a way to punish him. The ONLY things that gets his attention is when we tell him that we will take his Kindle away, but that is working less and less.
Part of the Autism with Micah means he doesn't understand authority. On good days this translates into Micah being bossy. For example, I was reading the other day on the couch. He came up to me and said, "Mommy. Get up. Get up right now." I asked him why and after some coaxing I got him to tell me that he was thirsty. I explained that just telling me to get up wasn't nice and that he needed to ask me to get him a drink. He can be pretty demanding too. As he grows up and gets better with communication, this all gets better and easier.
Today was a bad day. Micah had a fever yesterday. He doesn't have the flu or anything. The doctor said it could have just been from allergies. He is congested. He was tired, but also really wanted to go to gymnastics. I went ahead and took him. He loves gymnastics so much and I am glad I took him, but he was tired after class. Tired Micah can often mean a grumpy Micah. Poor guy.
It didn't help that I didn't sleep well last night and I have been going over all the reports for Micah's ARD this week. Motherhood is one of the loneliest things. It is odd. It really shouldn't be, but it is. I have a ton of friends and family. I have the best husband and I everywhere I turn, there is support. But, there are those days when you want to hide in a closet and eat ice cream and I think that is okay.
-jozlin
Bad days are usually a combination of Micah being tired, Mommy being tired, and communication issues with Micah.
Micah doesn't understand that Chris and I are in charge. To make it worse, I can't find a way to punish him. The ONLY things that gets his attention is when we tell him that we will take his Kindle away, but that is working less and less.
Part of the Autism with Micah means he doesn't understand authority. On good days this translates into Micah being bossy. For example, I was reading the other day on the couch. He came up to me and said, "Mommy. Get up. Get up right now." I asked him why and after some coaxing I got him to tell me that he was thirsty. I explained that just telling me to get up wasn't nice and that he needed to ask me to get him a drink. He can be pretty demanding too. As he grows up and gets better with communication, this all gets better and easier.
Today was a bad day. Micah had a fever yesterday. He doesn't have the flu or anything. The doctor said it could have just been from allergies. He is congested. He was tired, but also really wanted to go to gymnastics. I went ahead and took him. He loves gymnastics so much and I am glad I took him, but he was tired after class. Tired Micah can often mean a grumpy Micah. Poor guy.
It didn't help that I didn't sleep well last night and I have been going over all the reports for Micah's ARD this week. Motherhood is one of the loneliest things. It is odd. It really shouldn't be, but it is. I have a ton of friends and family. I have the best husband and I everywhere I turn, there is support. But, there are those days when you want to hide in a closet and eat ice cream and I think that is okay.
-jozlin
Sunday, January 27, 2013
Bedtime Routines
Bedtime has always been interesting for us. Micah does not like to sleep. Even as a teenie tiny baby, he resisted sleep. It has always felt like he was afraid to miss something.
We used to get him super worked up before bed. A total opposite of what people tell you, but it worked for a while. Chris, my husband, and I would have him laughing hysterically. When he started walking, we would chase him all over the house pretending he was escaping. There was even a time we had him fall asleep to a movie every night because it was the ONLY way to get him asleep.
These tricks only last a short time. I am not a big fan of crying it out. There are times Micah just needs to deal with it, but I like to make sure he is fine before I just leave him in a dark room to cry.
The latest bedtime routine is my favorite.
I don't know how I "decode" the different cries, but I just accept that it is part of my Mommy superpowers. Micah was going to bed and he was anxious. He would cry and cry and I could hear him say things like...Mommy, where are you? I love you, Mommy. It was two or three nights of this before I stumbled upon our new routine.
We put Micah to bed 30 min to an hour before his bedtime. It all just depends on how tired I feel like he is and when my husband comes home. I like to make sure that Micah and Chris get to see each other everyday, but when Chris has to work late and Micah has school, it just can't be helped.
After I put him to bed, I let him play on his Kindle for a short time. With the stimming behaviors, Micah needs time to settle down and chill out. I figure it is like when I read before I go to sleep. I tell him that I will have to come get his Kindle from him and point to the clock on his wall to show him what time I will come in.
When I come to collect the Kindle, Micah usually just hands it over. Sometimes I have to take it from him, but that happens less and less. Then, I'll turn off the lights and sing to him. His favorite is Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. We also sing Jesus Loves Me, ABCs, and some of his school songs about the days of the week or the months of the year. Sometimes Micah sings to me. These are usually songs he makes up. I always make sure to clap and tell him how beautiful his song is. The rule is, for me to sing to him, his head has to be on the pillow.
After we sing, we talk. I think this is the important part for Micah. I tell him about what we are planning the next day. I'll say things like, "Tomorrow you will wake up, get dressed, eat breakfast, and go to school to see Mrs Megan. You're going to see your friends and play and sit down quietly when Mrs. Megan is teaching. You're going to visit Kindergarten and sing songs and count. Then you go lunch and eat. Then, Mommy will pick you up. Tomorrow is Thursday so that means you get to go to gymnastics, but not until later in the evening. Before gymnastics we will play and have a snack and you'll take a nap."
I have learned that Micah likes to have a plan. He doesn't get super upset if we can't stick to that plan exactly, but he likes to have an idea of what is going to happen. Sometimes we write down what our plans are on his white board. He loves that. If there is something Micah seems anxious about, we explain it with pictures and words. For example, going poopoo. (Sorry if that is an offensive word to some) Micah was afraid of the potty and seems to try to not poop. Even if it was just in his pull-up. So, one day Chris and I sat down with him and explained what poopoo and peepee is. I drew a person and explained that it is just getting rid of what our body doesn't need. It was really simplified and probably not entirely accurate, but it helped. He loved it.
Here is my baby boy asleep.
Have a great one,
jozlin
We used to get him super worked up before bed. A total opposite of what people tell you, but it worked for a while. Chris, my husband, and I would have him laughing hysterically. When he started walking, we would chase him all over the house pretending he was escaping. There was even a time we had him fall asleep to a movie every night because it was the ONLY way to get him asleep.
These tricks only last a short time. I am not a big fan of crying it out. There are times Micah just needs to deal with it, but I like to make sure he is fine before I just leave him in a dark room to cry.
The latest bedtime routine is my favorite.
I don't know how I "decode" the different cries, but I just accept that it is part of my Mommy superpowers. Micah was going to bed and he was anxious. He would cry and cry and I could hear him say things like...Mommy, where are you? I love you, Mommy. It was two or three nights of this before I stumbled upon our new routine.
We put Micah to bed 30 min to an hour before his bedtime. It all just depends on how tired I feel like he is and when my husband comes home. I like to make sure that Micah and Chris get to see each other everyday, but when Chris has to work late and Micah has school, it just can't be helped.
After I put him to bed, I let him play on his Kindle for a short time. With the stimming behaviors, Micah needs time to settle down and chill out. I figure it is like when I read before I go to sleep. I tell him that I will have to come get his Kindle from him and point to the clock on his wall to show him what time I will come in.
When I come to collect the Kindle, Micah usually just hands it over. Sometimes I have to take it from him, but that happens less and less. Then, I'll turn off the lights and sing to him. His favorite is Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. We also sing Jesus Loves Me, ABCs, and some of his school songs about the days of the week or the months of the year. Sometimes Micah sings to me. These are usually songs he makes up. I always make sure to clap and tell him how beautiful his song is. The rule is, for me to sing to him, his head has to be on the pillow.
After we sing, we talk. I think this is the important part for Micah. I tell him about what we are planning the next day. I'll say things like, "Tomorrow you will wake up, get dressed, eat breakfast, and go to school to see Mrs Megan. You're going to see your friends and play and sit down quietly when Mrs. Megan is teaching. You're going to visit Kindergarten and sing songs and count. Then you go lunch and eat. Then, Mommy will pick you up. Tomorrow is Thursday so that means you get to go to gymnastics, but not until later in the evening. Before gymnastics we will play and have a snack and you'll take a nap."
I have learned that Micah likes to have a plan. He doesn't get super upset if we can't stick to that plan exactly, but he likes to have an idea of what is going to happen. Sometimes we write down what our plans are on his white board. He loves that. If there is something Micah seems anxious about, we explain it with pictures and words. For example, going poopoo. (Sorry if that is an offensive word to some) Micah was afraid of the potty and seems to try to not poop. Even if it was just in his pull-up. So, one day Chris and I sat down with him and explained what poopoo and peepee is. I drew a person and explained that it is just getting rid of what our body doesn't need. It was really simplified and probably not entirely accurate, but it helped. He loved it.
Here is my baby boy asleep.
Have a great one,
jozlin
Friday, January 25, 2013
Are you sure this kid is Autistic?!?
It's going to be a short post, but I just saw a perfect example of a very not Autistic behavior.
Micah found his Kindle Fire.
I heard him say, "KINDLE!!!"
I turned around to find him caressing his kindle with his cheek. He had a huge smile on his face and said, "awww..."
Sure he was showing affection for a Kindle, but I talk to my car, so whatever.
Things like this are why it was a difficult decision to have him tested. There are days I would be convinced that there was no way Micah could be Autistic and then days I can't believe I ever doubted it.
I love Fridays. The hubby will be some soon. We're going to watch Pitch Perfect and eat tacos. That is an awesome night for the two of us. Can't wait.
Have a great weekend.
-jozlin
Micah found his Kindle Fire.
I heard him say, "KINDLE!!!"
I turned around to find him caressing his kindle with his cheek. He had a huge smile on his face and said, "awww..."
Sure he was showing affection for a Kindle, but I talk to my car, so whatever.
Things like this are why it was a difficult decision to have him tested. There are days I would be convinced that there was no way Micah could be Autistic and then days I can't believe I ever doubted it.
I love Fridays. The hubby will be some soon. We're going to watch Pitch Perfect and eat tacos. That is an awesome night for the two of us. Can't wait.
Have a great weekend.
-jozlin
Micah has Autism
For over 3 years I have been watching my son. I watch him like a mother watches her first born with awe and wonder. I also have watched him like a scientist observes his subject.
When Micah was about 8 months old I realized something important. The "dancing" he was doing was not dancing. It was flapping.
Flapping is a stimming behavior. Stimming is a self stimulatory behavior that people use to...well...stimulate themselves. It is a lot more common that we realize. Any repetitive motion that has no real benefit is a stimming behavior. People who like to chew straws, tap their foot, or spin their wedding ring are participating in stimming behaviors.
Micah flaps, rocks, and sometimes makes this grimacing face. These stimming behaviors are not in any way harmful to him, but they are not considered socially acceptable behaviors. We work with him to help slow them down, but also make sure to not make him feel like something is wrong with him.
So...I realized that Micah was stimming. I knew stimming is a sign of Autism. At this time, I simply filed the information away. I was in school to be a teacher and decided to just watch him.
When Micah hit 18 months old I scheduled an appointment with his doctor. At this stage Micah was flapping more, he had picked up a fascination with spinning, he wasn't talking, and he was not walking. We talked about how to get him some help and I made an appointment with ECI. (Early Childhood Intervention)
I cried. A lot. I know that the ECI people were doing their job when they were trying to explain to me what their test showed, but I felt like a failure.
Micah was behind on EVERYTHING. They were really surprised that Micah didn't know what a dog or cat said. He didn't walk, only used a small amount of sign language, and he was behind on motor skills.
My theory on teaching Micah was that he needed to simply PLAY. I didn't teach him what a dog or a cat said because we don't have dogs or cats. He didn't know how to open a door because I didn't WANT him to learn how. (easier to keep this kiddo inside if he can't work the doors)
Let's rewind a bit. When Micah was 15-16 months old, I was drawing with him. Working with Micah was getting frustrating because he wouldn't talk. He didn't call me Mama. He didn't call my husband Daddy. He didn't say baba. He would mimic sounds, but none of the sounds had meaning. So, I was drawing with him. I picked up the pen, drew a circle, and said, "Micah. That is a circle." He looked down at it, picked up the pen, drew a perfect circle, and said, "Circle." That moment changed everything.
I realized 2 things.
1. Letters were the only thing Micah had ever wanted to say. He had foam letters that he would show me. I would tell him the name of the letter and he would repeat it over and over again.
2. Not only did Micah say circle, but he could identify circles ALL over the place. Circle was Micah's first word.
By this time I was out of school. (By golly, one day I will finish a bachelor's degree, but not right now.) I had a lot more time on my hands and a mission. I knew from my education classes that even if Micah was diagnosed with Autism, with therapy, he could work to overcome some of the behaviors associated with Autism. Because Autism is a spectrum disorder and I felt like Micah was barely on that spectrum, I decided to proceed with the belief I could radically change the course he was on.
I can't tell the entire story in one post, so I'll stop here. I will say that Micah will be 4 this March. He is still considered delayed in verbal communication and is working on social skills, but he is one of the most amazing and intelligent children you'll meet. He reads very well for a 3 year old, writes, spells, is starting math skills, he knows his colors, shapes, planets, months, days of the week, he counts by 1s, 2s, & 10s, and he has a love for learning that I have never seen before. The more he learns the more he grows out of his shell. He loves and respects books. He loves technology. We were told that 2 is too young for a child to have a DS, but he figured out how to use it on his own. Camera, videos, drawing, ect. He attends PPCD and loves school. He gets to visit the kindergarten class every day to give him a bit more of the academics he craves.
I should be getting reports about the testing next week and we have an ARD scheduled next week as well.
We still face challenges. Micah's stimming behaviors have gotten worse. I think that he will be diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder. His eating habits can be interesting at times. He is not potty trained. (although I read that is normal for little boys) There are times it is like he is deaf because he will not acknowledge that I am speaking to him.(normal as well) He has had 2 seizures and takes medicine every day to keep him from having more.
BUT...he is amazing. Just the journey from that first time I wondered if Micah could be Autistic to (almost) diagnosis has been...well...fun. That may sound so odd, but every child is different and figuring Micah out in order to help him has been like a science experiment or a game. It allows me to be creative in a very rewarding way. Learning how to help him grow and learn has made me learn and grow. It has been a fantastic experience and it is all just starting.
I hope that I by having this blog, I can help others learn about Autism, give some ideas to other parents, and have a place to share.
Thanks!
jozlin
When Micah was about 8 months old I realized something important. The "dancing" he was doing was not dancing. It was flapping.
Flapping is a stimming behavior. Stimming is a self stimulatory behavior that people use to...well...stimulate themselves. It is a lot more common that we realize. Any repetitive motion that has no real benefit is a stimming behavior. People who like to chew straws, tap their foot, or spin their wedding ring are participating in stimming behaviors.
Micah flaps, rocks, and sometimes makes this grimacing face. These stimming behaviors are not in any way harmful to him, but they are not considered socially acceptable behaviors. We work with him to help slow them down, but also make sure to not make him feel like something is wrong with him.
So...I realized that Micah was stimming. I knew stimming is a sign of Autism. At this time, I simply filed the information away. I was in school to be a teacher and decided to just watch him.
When Micah hit 18 months old I scheduled an appointment with his doctor. At this stage Micah was flapping more, he had picked up a fascination with spinning, he wasn't talking, and he was not walking. We talked about how to get him some help and I made an appointment with ECI. (Early Childhood Intervention)
I cried. A lot. I know that the ECI people were doing their job when they were trying to explain to me what their test showed, but I felt like a failure.
Micah was behind on EVERYTHING. They were really surprised that Micah didn't know what a dog or cat said. He didn't walk, only used a small amount of sign language, and he was behind on motor skills.
My theory on teaching Micah was that he needed to simply PLAY. I didn't teach him what a dog or a cat said because we don't have dogs or cats. He didn't know how to open a door because I didn't WANT him to learn how. (easier to keep this kiddo inside if he can't work the doors)
Let's rewind a bit. When Micah was 15-16 months old, I was drawing with him. Working with Micah was getting frustrating because he wouldn't talk. He didn't call me Mama. He didn't call my husband Daddy. He didn't say baba. He would mimic sounds, but none of the sounds had meaning. So, I was drawing with him. I picked up the pen, drew a circle, and said, "Micah. That is a circle." He looked down at it, picked up the pen, drew a perfect circle, and said, "Circle." That moment changed everything.
I realized 2 things.
1. Letters were the only thing Micah had ever wanted to say. He had foam letters that he would show me. I would tell him the name of the letter and he would repeat it over and over again.
2. Not only did Micah say circle, but he could identify circles ALL over the place. Circle was Micah's first word.
By this time I was out of school. (By golly, one day I will finish a bachelor's degree, but not right now.) I had a lot more time on my hands and a mission. I knew from my education classes that even if Micah was diagnosed with Autism, with therapy, he could work to overcome some of the behaviors associated with Autism. Because Autism is a spectrum disorder and I felt like Micah was barely on that spectrum, I decided to proceed with the belief I could radically change the course he was on.
I can't tell the entire story in one post, so I'll stop here. I will say that Micah will be 4 this March. He is still considered delayed in verbal communication and is working on social skills, but he is one of the most amazing and intelligent children you'll meet. He reads very well for a 3 year old, writes, spells, is starting math skills, he knows his colors, shapes, planets, months, days of the week, he counts by 1s, 2s, & 10s, and he has a love for learning that I have never seen before. The more he learns the more he grows out of his shell. He loves and respects books. He loves technology. We were told that 2 is too young for a child to have a DS, but he figured out how to use it on his own. Camera, videos, drawing, ect. He attends PPCD and loves school. He gets to visit the kindergarten class every day to give him a bit more of the academics he craves.
I should be getting reports about the testing next week and we have an ARD scheduled next week as well.
We still face challenges. Micah's stimming behaviors have gotten worse. I think that he will be diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder. His eating habits can be interesting at times. He is not potty trained. (although I read that is normal for little boys) There are times it is like he is deaf because he will not acknowledge that I am speaking to him.(normal as well) He has had 2 seizures and takes medicine every day to keep him from having more.
BUT...he is amazing. Just the journey from that first time I wondered if Micah could be Autistic to (almost) diagnosis has been...well...fun. That may sound so odd, but every child is different and figuring Micah out in order to help him has been like a science experiment or a game. It allows me to be creative in a very rewarding way. Learning how to help him grow and learn has made me learn and grow. It has been a fantastic experience and it is all just starting.
I hope that I by having this blog, I can help others learn about Autism, give some ideas to other parents, and have a place to share.
Thanks!
jozlin
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