It has been a while since I've posted.
We've had a birthday, Micah had a major allergy thing going, and both Chris and I have had sinus infections. First Chris and I'm on medicine now.
I thought I'd write about what happened today.
First, a few weeks ago, I told Micah's teacher that she could use Micah's Kindle privileges as leverage when Micah wasn't listening. Well, today Micah lost all Kindle time.
Music class is kind of rough on Micah. I think it's the noise. He loves music, but I think 3 to 5 year olds singing is probably rough on him. I need to make a mental note to mention to Megan that music time is probably a good time to use the weighted vest.
Anyway!
There have been several occasions when Micah insisted on leaving the classroom during music. Him and Megan would walk around some. Today he stayed in class. He was sitting on a chair and not with the other kids. No big deal until he started swinging his legs. He accidentally kicked a kid. He was told to be careful and not swing his legs. It happened again and this time a little girl cried. He was put in time out. After time out it happened again. That is when he lost his Kindle for the day. I honestly think he should lose it for a week, but I think he is too young for that.
Now, I feel horrible that a little girl got hurt from this. Poor thing. But, in Micah's defense...I think he saw a big reaction to something he did and didn't understand that he hurt someone.
Megan told me what happened and we talked to Micah. I explained that he hurt his friend and that he doesn't like to get hurt. Micah then apologized to her. I told Micah that he has to listen to Mrs. Megan and because Micah didn't listen and because he hurt someone he did not get to play with his Kindle. I felt like he understood, at this point, that he hurt her. It's part of why he needs socialization. He is such a happy kid, he interprets a lot of emotions as happy or funny. Once I explained, he realized it wasn't a joke.
Poor Megan. Micah was a little upset with her. He didn't give her a smile when we left.
I was really dreading bedtime because Micah spends about 30 min in bed playing with his Kindle. It's a good bedtime routine. When he went to bed today, he knew he didn't get his Kindle. He said, "No Kindle cause I made crying." (He is working on pronouns) He didn't cry. I sang to him, kissed him, told him about tomorrow, and that was that.
I think it was a successful punishment.
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
4 years old
Micah is going to be 4 this Saturday. He was born on Texas' Independence Day. I think that is cool. Also, his birthday is my Dad's "half-birthday" and my Dad's is his "half-birthday". (the 6 month mark from his birthday)
I really wanted to have a big gymnastics party for Micah, but that didn't work out. We will probably go to Sea World. He loves going there.
Micah's birthday is also my cue to plan for summer. I think we will be spending a lot of time at the library this summer. Living in town gives us the chance to do so much more. It is nice to have things so close.
Last week was long and hard. We're still feeling the fall out from it. I decided to try to use the Kindle to potty train Micah. I took it away if he went in his pants and gave it back if he went in the potty. He basically just blew off the Kindle all together. I could tell it was stressing him out. I know I was stressed. I stopped and went back to our normal stuff.
I know he will potty train...I just wish it was sooner rather than later. With reading I knew he would be reading quite a bit when he was 3. I knew he would walk before he was 2. Potty training is different. I know it will happen, but I don't know when or how. I just don't want to stress him out too much.
I am going to go cuddle with the kiddo.
Have a great week.
-J
I really wanted to have a big gymnastics party for Micah, but that didn't work out. We will probably go to Sea World. He loves going there.
Micah's birthday is also my cue to plan for summer. I think we will be spending a lot of time at the library this summer. Living in town gives us the chance to do so much more. It is nice to have things so close.
Last week was long and hard. We're still feeling the fall out from it. I decided to try to use the Kindle to potty train Micah. I took it away if he went in his pants and gave it back if he went in the potty. He basically just blew off the Kindle all together. I could tell it was stressing him out. I know I was stressed. I stopped and went back to our normal stuff.
I know he will potty train...I just wish it was sooner rather than later. With reading I knew he would be reading quite a bit when he was 3. I knew he would walk before he was 2. Potty training is different. I know it will happen, but I don't know when or how. I just don't want to stress him out too much.
I am going to go cuddle with the kiddo.
Have a great week.
-J
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Invisible Lines
Life is full of invisible lines. These lines can be broken into a lot of different categories, but since this blog is about Micah, I won't go into all of that.
Parenting has some difficult lines. It's easy to decide where a lot of life's lines are when it involves just you, but the decisions we have to make as parents always feel so much bigger. There is no way we can guess the implications of our decisions.
Potty training is a line. At what point do I take away Micah's Kindle and tell him he IS going to potty train. He doesn't see a point in potty training right now. He knows what to do. He isn't scared of the process anymore. He has told Chris a few times that he had to go number two and went to the potty. All of the signs are there that it is time, but the decision is when do I start pushing him? I have read and heard a lot about how important it is to potty train properly, but what does that even mean?
Teaching Micah is another line. Micah is ready to tackle addition and subtraction. I have worked with him on it and he gets it. I know that if I make math time at home a regular thing, he will be very comfortable with it by this summer. But, he is just going to be 4. Micah ADORES learning, but is there a point where he will be too far ahead?
I want Micah to learn piano. Lessons will cost $120/month. There is some great software I found that will teach Micah piano and how to read music. It's about $100/6 months. The software is much easier on the budget, but how much computer time is too much?
I've also been told joining the YMCA would be very good for Micah. Equine therapy is supposed to be great. Oh, getting a dog. Gymnastics has been great. There is occupational therapy. He does speech therapy at school. There are parenting groups you can join to help with Autism. I can request someone to come to the house to help him with stimming. I've considered yoga and tai chi to help him with stimming. How much therapy is too much? At what point do I help him get over things and when do I decide that he is who he is. When is there too much "fixing"?
These are decisions I am making. Some of the decisions are easy. I will be getting Micah the piano software. A dog can't happen right now because we live in an apartment. I don't want therapy at my house. We're not doing Equine therapy at this point and I don't want to join a parenting group. Micah is going to lose his Kindle soon for potty training. I am going to explain that the Kindle is for big boys and if he "number twos" in his diaper, he loses it. He needs that push. We're going to be doing more and more math and I am looking to see if I can find a kid's yoga DVD that him and I can do together.
Autism seems to add to the parenting invisible lines. Micah doesn't process and communicate the way other kids do. I have to take this into consideration and remind myself to be patient. These lines are going to get more difficult as he grows up, but as he grows, he is going to be more involved in these decisions. It's going to be fun.
Have a good one,
Jozlin
Parenting has some difficult lines. It's easy to decide where a lot of life's lines are when it involves just you, but the decisions we have to make as parents always feel so much bigger. There is no way we can guess the implications of our decisions.
Potty training is a line. At what point do I take away Micah's Kindle and tell him he IS going to potty train. He doesn't see a point in potty training right now. He knows what to do. He isn't scared of the process anymore. He has told Chris a few times that he had to go number two and went to the potty. All of the signs are there that it is time, but the decision is when do I start pushing him? I have read and heard a lot about how important it is to potty train properly, but what does that even mean?
Teaching Micah is another line. Micah is ready to tackle addition and subtraction. I have worked with him on it and he gets it. I know that if I make math time at home a regular thing, he will be very comfortable with it by this summer. But, he is just going to be 4. Micah ADORES learning, but is there a point where he will be too far ahead?
I want Micah to learn piano. Lessons will cost $120/month. There is some great software I found that will teach Micah piano and how to read music. It's about $100/6 months. The software is much easier on the budget, but how much computer time is too much?
I've also been told joining the YMCA would be very good for Micah. Equine therapy is supposed to be great. Oh, getting a dog. Gymnastics has been great. There is occupational therapy. He does speech therapy at school. There are parenting groups you can join to help with Autism. I can request someone to come to the house to help him with stimming. I've considered yoga and tai chi to help him with stimming. How much therapy is too much? At what point do I help him get over things and when do I decide that he is who he is. When is there too much "fixing"?
These are decisions I am making. Some of the decisions are easy. I will be getting Micah the piano software. A dog can't happen right now because we live in an apartment. I don't want therapy at my house. We're not doing Equine therapy at this point and I don't want to join a parenting group. Micah is going to lose his Kindle soon for potty training. I am going to explain that the Kindle is for big boys and if he "number twos" in his diaper, he loses it. He needs that push. We're going to be doing more and more math and I am looking to see if I can find a kid's yoga DVD that him and I can do together.
Autism seems to add to the parenting invisible lines. Micah doesn't process and communicate the way other kids do. I have to take this into consideration and remind myself to be patient. These lines are going to get more difficult as he grows up, but as he grows, he is going to be more involved in these decisions. It's going to be fun.
Have a good one,
Jozlin
Monday, February 11, 2013
Let's Pretend
Children with Autism are typically not good at imaginative play. We have been working with Micah on this for a while. He mimics what we teach him, but I have never seen him play pretend without having first learned how. This mimicking is what makes it difficult for some to see the Autism.
Micah is great at learning. He knows there are things he is supposed to do and once he learns a process, he will do what he is supposed to do. For example, saying hi to people. He is learning that when someone says hi, you say hi back. Now, he doesn't always look at the person he is talking to and he still likes to say bye to people from the car, but he is learning.
I wasn't a big imaginative play kid. It made no sense to me why I was supposed to pretend to be a baby doll's mother. I liked to throw it in the air and see how many times I could make it flip. So, I have to make a point to pretend with Micah. (This is another reason I am glad he is in school)
The other day Micah and I were watching Avatar. (The Last Airbender...not the blue people.) We like to cuddle up and watch cartoons. Anyway, Micah pointed to himself and said, "I am Aang."
Aang is the main character. He was born into the Air Tribe and can bend air. He is also the Avatar. Only the Avatar can bend all 4 elements. Air, Water, Earth, Fire.
I was happy to hear Micah say that he was Aang. That showed original imaginative play. (He came up with it on his own.)
Yesterday, he blew me away.
He had his blanket and was moving it around like a ribbon dancer and saying, I'm Aang the Avatar. I'm an air bender! He was pretending to bend earth, fire, and water as well. He told me I was Katara. (Aang's friend. She is a water bender) He decided that Chris would be Sokka, but since Sokka isn't a bender Micah said that Chris could bend earth.
We didn't make a huge deal of it. We played with him, but didn't cheer him on or act like it was anything different. I think it is important for Micah to do things for himself and not for constant praise. There is a fine line between encouraging you child and praising every little thing they do. I don't want him to become overly dependent on praise. I'd hate for him to feel like there isn't a point in doing something unless someone is there to clap for him. I may be over thinking it, but oh well.
I'm so excited that Micah played pretend. It shows he is learning and understanding things that are a little tricky for him. The playtime lasted about 20 min and he had a lot of fun. It is great to see him grow.
Have a great week,
jozlin
Micah is great at learning. He knows there are things he is supposed to do and once he learns a process, he will do what he is supposed to do. For example, saying hi to people. He is learning that when someone says hi, you say hi back. Now, he doesn't always look at the person he is talking to and he still likes to say bye to people from the car, but he is learning.
I wasn't a big imaginative play kid. It made no sense to me why I was supposed to pretend to be a baby doll's mother. I liked to throw it in the air and see how many times I could make it flip. So, I have to make a point to pretend with Micah. (This is another reason I am glad he is in school)
The other day Micah and I were watching Avatar. (The Last Airbender...not the blue people.) We like to cuddle up and watch cartoons. Anyway, Micah pointed to himself and said, "I am Aang."
Aang is the main character. He was born into the Air Tribe and can bend air. He is also the Avatar. Only the Avatar can bend all 4 elements. Air, Water, Earth, Fire.
I was happy to hear Micah say that he was Aang. That showed original imaginative play. (He came up with it on his own.)
Yesterday, he blew me away.
He had his blanket and was moving it around like a ribbon dancer and saying, I'm Aang the Avatar. I'm an air bender! He was pretending to bend earth, fire, and water as well. He told me I was Katara. (Aang's friend. She is a water bender) He decided that Chris would be Sokka, but since Sokka isn't a bender Micah said that Chris could bend earth.
We didn't make a huge deal of it. We played with him, but didn't cheer him on or act like it was anything different. I think it is important for Micah to do things for himself and not for constant praise. There is a fine line between encouraging you child and praising every little thing they do. I don't want him to become overly dependent on praise. I'd hate for him to feel like there isn't a point in doing something unless someone is there to clap for him. I may be over thinking it, but oh well.
I'm so excited that Micah played pretend. It shows he is learning and understanding things that are a little tricky for him. The playtime lasted about 20 min and he had a lot of fun. It is great to see him grow.
Have a great week,
jozlin
Monday, February 4, 2013
The ARD
Micah's "Big Daddy ARD" was last Thursday. It went well. Chris had the day off. We took Micah to school and then stayed for Coffee and Conversations. The Superintendent was there for questions and Chris and I pretended to know what they were talking about.
It was entertaining. There is going to be a vote on a bond for a lot of improvements to the school district. The biggest one being Micah's school being re-build elsewhere. The school is older and it can be re-purposed into offices for the district. There were all sorts of people there. There was tax Mom. All the questions she had revolved around taxes. There were people who were concerned about all sorts of things. There was laptop Mom. I think she was checking her email. Apparently she is on some committee and she would give other parents the funniest looks. Parents have been testing the schools for safety and one parent talked about how her and a neighbor went to one of the Jr High schools to check out each others kids. They wanted to see if they would check ID's and such. So the mom was complaining that they didn't check. One dad said that part of safety is teaching your kids not to go with strangers. He said, "It's not like they shove your kid in a van just because that person checked your kid out.' Chris and I thought that was the best part of the entire meeting. Coffee was #2.
After the coffee thing, we ran back home to pick up Bob (my brother) and went straight back in to go to the ARD. I was nervous and kinda hyped up on strong coffee.
ARD meetings are tedious. There are things that have to be legally said and reviewed. There was a lot of paperwork involved, but it wasn't too bad. We laughed and talked about how amazing Micah is. He has some work to do. Sometimes he does things that disrupts the classroom. He has a habit of getting up when he is supposed to be sitting down and paying attention. He needs work on communication and being social. He doesn't look the other children in the eyes.
He has already improved on goals they put on his IEP. (Individual Education Plan) I got to see some of the stuff Megan has made for him. The new protocol sheet has Velcro and they can move the pictures around to make sure he doesn't get stuck in a pattern. Micah's teachers use patterns of behavior to help encourage him to learn new things and they do things to make sure he doesn't get stuck into a pattern. I am so glad I am not the only one teaching him anymore. There is a speech therapist, a teacher, a special education teacher, and an occupational therapist who comes in to give ideas. His class has 2 teaching assistants and another teacher who is in the class. There are the Kinder teachers, assistants, lunch room peeps, the adults he waves to as we walk up to the school, volunteers, subs, and SO many other people pouring into his life. I work to teach Micah everything I can, but there is no way he would be as far along as he is without others helping me.
They asked me if I want to let Micah take the bus to school. It is very tempting. Micah has always wanted to ride a bus. He thinks they are cool and I know he would enjoy it. Also, that would mean one less thing for me to do. I may do this for him next year. I'll miss dropping him off and picking him up. I love seeing all the kids and people, but I think it will be good for him. I think mornings would go much smoother if he got to get on the bus every morning. (Sometimes he isn't very motivated to go to school...or wear a jacket. Even if it is 30 degrees outside.)
Overall, the ARD was great. I like the team of people who work with Micah. They all adore him, so naturally I think they are brilliant. None of them take the process too seriously and are able to smile and joke. The district is dedicated to thinking outside the educational box. This is very important with all children, but crucial when teaching a kid like Micah. It was one of the things the Superintendent talked about at the coffee thing.
Today we skipped gymnastics. Micah tripped over his own feet and hit his head. He has a big smushy bruise on his head. I didn't want to chance him falling in gymnastics and hitting the same spot. Just seemed best to play it safe. Plus, the kiddo is tired. Mondays we get up a little earlier and leave early for speech therapy. He goes first thing Monday mornings. He hasn't even asked to go to gymnastics, so it wasn't too disappointing for Micah.
Have a good week. I think I'll be writing my next post on how I got Micah to start talking.
-jozlin
It was entertaining. There is going to be a vote on a bond for a lot of improvements to the school district. The biggest one being Micah's school being re-build elsewhere. The school is older and it can be re-purposed into offices for the district. There were all sorts of people there. There was tax Mom. All the questions she had revolved around taxes. There were people who were concerned about all sorts of things. There was laptop Mom. I think she was checking her email. Apparently she is on some committee and she would give other parents the funniest looks. Parents have been testing the schools for safety and one parent talked about how her and a neighbor went to one of the Jr High schools to check out each others kids. They wanted to see if they would check ID's and such. So the mom was complaining that they didn't check. One dad said that part of safety is teaching your kids not to go with strangers. He said, "It's not like they shove your kid in a van just because that person checked your kid out.' Chris and I thought that was the best part of the entire meeting. Coffee was #2.
After the coffee thing, we ran back home to pick up Bob (my brother) and went straight back in to go to the ARD. I was nervous and kinda hyped up on strong coffee.
ARD meetings are tedious. There are things that have to be legally said and reviewed. There was a lot of paperwork involved, but it wasn't too bad. We laughed and talked about how amazing Micah is. He has some work to do. Sometimes he does things that disrupts the classroom. He has a habit of getting up when he is supposed to be sitting down and paying attention. He needs work on communication and being social. He doesn't look the other children in the eyes.
He has already improved on goals they put on his IEP. (Individual Education Plan) I got to see some of the stuff Megan has made for him. The new protocol sheet has Velcro and they can move the pictures around to make sure he doesn't get stuck in a pattern. Micah's teachers use patterns of behavior to help encourage him to learn new things and they do things to make sure he doesn't get stuck into a pattern. I am so glad I am not the only one teaching him anymore. There is a speech therapist, a teacher, a special education teacher, and an occupational therapist who comes in to give ideas. His class has 2 teaching assistants and another teacher who is in the class. There are the Kinder teachers, assistants, lunch room peeps, the adults he waves to as we walk up to the school, volunteers, subs, and SO many other people pouring into his life. I work to teach Micah everything I can, but there is no way he would be as far along as he is without others helping me.
They asked me if I want to let Micah take the bus to school. It is very tempting. Micah has always wanted to ride a bus. He thinks they are cool and I know he would enjoy it. Also, that would mean one less thing for me to do. I may do this for him next year. I'll miss dropping him off and picking him up. I love seeing all the kids and people, but I think it will be good for him. I think mornings would go much smoother if he got to get on the bus every morning. (Sometimes he isn't very motivated to go to school...or wear a jacket. Even if it is 30 degrees outside.)
Overall, the ARD was great. I like the team of people who work with Micah. They all adore him, so naturally I think they are brilliant. None of them take the process too seriously and are able to smile and joke. The district is dedicated to thinking outside the educational box. This is very important with all children, but crucial when teaching a kid like Micah. It was one of the things the Superintendent talked about at the coffee thing.
Today we skipped gymnastics. Micah tripped over his own feet and hit his head. He has a big smushy bruise on his head. I didn't want to chance him falling in gymnastics and hitting the same spot. Just seemed best to play it safe. Plus, the kiddo is tired. Mondays we get up a little earlier and leave early for speech therapy. He goes first thing Monday mornings. He hasn't even asked to go to gymnastics, so it wasn't too disappointing for Micah.
Have a good week. I think I'll be writing my next post on how I got Micah to start talking.
-jozlin
Saturday, February 2, 2013
My biggest fear...
When I was a kid, I was teased. My forehead is bigger than what is considered normal. (so they told me) There was this one boy who would run up to me, touch my forehead, and run off yelling, "I touched it! I touched it!" It bothered me, but probably not as much as it would some. The guy who did that was not the brightest crayon in the box and he had plenty of things to be made fun of for. I didn't stoop to his level and jab back at him. I just felt sorry for him. I don't even remember his name.
That was Jr High and as much as I wish it wasn't true, kids can be mean. I had one girl tell me that I would NEVER have a boyfriend and if a guy ever showed interest in me, then go for it because it would probably be my only chance. Isn't that horrible? It made me feel horrible until I realized that the guy she was into liked me instead.
I was lucky to be a logical kid. Even so, the teasing hurt. I know some people who were consumed by it. There was one girl who caused our entire group of girls to end up in a meeting with the counselor because she was saying bad things about everyone. She wanted friends, but she ended up with a bunch of enemies.
Today bullying is a big issue. I think everyone can come up with stories of being treated badly by those around them. People are trying to bring awareness and provide help to the victims, but we still read in the news about kids who have killed themselves because of how they are treated. Kids who are different are tormented.
Micah is different.
Micah has some major stimming behaviors. The other day I was worried he was having a seizure because he was so "deep" into a stimming behavior that I couldn't get him to snap out of it. (it wasn't a seizure) He is also very smart and loves learning. He is going to be into books and math. He adores science and computers. He is going to be a nerd and until he masters the stimming, he is going to stand out more than he normally would.
This is why I am not afraid to tell people that Micah is Autistic. Not because I want to explain away his behaviors, but because I want to help bring awareness. When I see someone at the store give Micah a confused look because he is stimming, I tell them that Micah is Autistic. I am very open about this and usually get asked a lot of questions. I explain that Micah is very smart and tell them about the things he can do, but also explain what stimming is and why he does it.
This one lady at Walmart asked if Micah would be allowed to go to school. My first thought was a small flash of anger, but it was quickly followed by thankfulness. I talked to her for about 30 minutes. She had a very archaic view of Special Education and I was able to give her some information. I ended the conversation when she started hinting to me to fix her computer. ;)
If I treat Autism like a secret or something to be ashamed of, Micah will see that and follow my example. If I try to force him to stop stimming all the time and treat the behavior as something he is doing wrong, others will treat him the same way. Micah is different and unless I can celebrate those differences he will not understand how special he is. His biggest defense against those who would bring him down is confidence in the knowledge that he is special.
I can't be with him where ever he goes. I can't protect him from everything. He will be teased and made fun of. I am doing everything I can to help him get in control of the stimming and learning how to compensate, but I don't know how much it will help. Honestly, I don't know if he will ever totally stop. I can't know that for sure. I have hope and work towards that goal, but I have to be honest with myself and know that I can only do my best. It is my duty to prepare him for the world.
My biggest fear is not that Micah will be made fun of. He will. My biggest fear is that he will take what others say about him to heart and that he will let it change him.
That is why part of my job with Micah is to work to make sure that he knows who he is. That he understands his strengths and his weaknesses. I want Micah to look in a mirror and like what he sees and know that his parents are so proud of him. We are raising Micah to understand that he can come talk to us. If we tell him to go to bed and he says, "No. Later Mommy." I say, "Okay baby. You have 5 minutes." I want to know we listen to him and take him seriously.
The most important thing I can teach him is to love himself. We all have things we need to work on, but this must always be done from a place of love. If we can't love ourselves, how can we love those around us. If we don't love those around us, how can we have a positive impact on this world.
I was in 6th grade. These two girls started making fun of me. They were harsh too. I was new to the school and an easy target. I have never been one to fight fire with fire. I started to say hi to them and complement them before they could make fun of me. I'd call them buddy and tell them that their hair looked nice. Sometimes I just said hi. They stopped making fun of me and joined in. It became a game to see who could say something nice first. Years later we were friends. Not close friends, but friends. I asked them why they made fun of me. They said they were just bored and mean, but thanked me for being nice anyway. (honestly...at first I was being sarcastic)
Bullies must be dealt with. Micah needs to learn to stand up for himself, but also understand that he must not stoop to their level. I may have started by being sarcastic, but it was to help with the hurt I felt towards them for being mean.
Like I said, all I can do is my best.
love,
jozlin
That was Jr High and as much as I wish it wasn't true, kids can be mean. I had one girl tell me that I would NEVER have a boyfriend and if a guy ever showed interest in me, then go for it because it would probably be my only chance. Isn't that horrible? It made me feel horrible until I realized that the guy she was into liked me instead.
I was lucky to be a logical kid. Even so, the teasing hurt. I know some people who were consumed by it. There was one girl who caused our entire group of girls to end up in a meeting with the counselor because she was saying bad things about everyone. She wanted friends, but she ended up with a bunch of enemies.
Today bullying is a big issue. I think everyone can come up with stories of being treated badly by those around them. People are trying to bring awareness and provide help to the victims, but we still read in the news about kids who have killed themselves because of how they are treated. Kids who are different are tormented.
Micah is different.
Micah has some major stimming behaviors. The other day I was worried he was having a seizure because he was so "deep" into a stimming behavior that I couldn't get him to snap out of it. (it wasn't a seizure) He is also very smart and loves learning. He is going to be into books and math. He adores science and computers. He is going to be a nerd and until he masters the stimming, he is going to stand out more than he normally would.
This is why I am not afraid to tell people that Micah is Autistic. Not because I want to explain away his behaviors, but because I want to help bring awareness. When I see someone at the store give Micah a confused look because he is stimming, I tell them that Micah is Autistic. I am very open about this and usually get asked a lot of questions. I explain that Micah is very smart and tell them about the things he can do, but also explain what stimming is and why he does it.
This one lady at Walmart asked if Micah would be allowed to go to school. My first thought was a small flash of anger, but it was quickly followed by thankfulness. I talked to her for about 30 minutes. She had a very archaic view of Special Education and I was able to give her some information. I ended the conversation when she started hinting to me to fix her computer. ;)
If I treat Autism like a secret or something to be ashamed of, Micah will see that and follow my example. If I try to force him to stop stimming all the time and treat the behavior as something he is doing wrong, others will treat him the same way. Micah is different and unless I can celebrate those differences he will not understand how special he is. His biggest defense against those who would bring him down is confidence in the knowledge that he is special.
I can't be with him where ever he goes. I can't protect him from everything. He will be teased and made fun of. I am doing everything I can to help him get in control of the stimming and learning how to compensate, but I don't know how much it will help. Honestly, I don't know if he will ever totally stop. I can't know that for sure. I have hope and work towards that goal, but I have to be honest with myself and know that I can only do my best. It is my duty to prepare him for the world.
My biggest fear is not that Micah will be made fun of. He will. My biggest fear is that he will take what others say about him to heart and that he will let it change him.
That is why part of my job with Micah is to work to make sure that he knows who he is. That he understands his strengths and his weaknesses. I want Micah to look in a mirror and like what he sees and know that his parents are so proud of him. We are raising Micah to understand that he can come talk to us. If we tell him to go to bed and he says, "No. Later Mommy." I say, "Okay baby. You have 5 minutes." I want to know we listen to him and take him seriously.
The most important thing I can teach him is to love himself. We all have things we need to work on, but this must always be done from a place of love. If we can't love ourselves, how can we love those around us. If we don't love those around us, how can we have a positive impact on this world.
I was in 6th grade. These two girls started making fun of me. They were harsh too. I was new to the school and an easy target. I have never been one to fight fire with fire. I started to say hi to them and complement them before they could make fun of me. I'd call them buddy and tell them that their hair looked nice. Sometimes I just said hi. They stopped making fun of me and joined in. It became a game to see who could say something nice first. Years later we were friends. Not close friends, but friends. I asked them why they made fun of me. They said they were just bored and mean, but thanked me for being nice anyway. (honestly...at first I was being sarcastic)
Bullies must be dealt with. Micah needs to learn to stand up for himself, but also understand that he must not stoop to their level. I may have started by being sarcastic, but it was to help with the hurt I felt towards them for being mean.
Like I said, all I can do is my best.
love,
jozlin
Friday, February 1, 2013
tired
Micah's ARD went very well.
There are things he needs to work on, but Megan said that he is already showing improvement. We got to see some of the charts and hear about the things that they do to help Micah out. It was nice to be in an ARD with a group of people who really like your kid.
I would explain more, but I am so very tired. I guess I was more stressed about the ARD than I realized. I don't know why. It explains all the weird dreams though.
I have a post that I am editing. I'll post it by tomorrow.
Micah's birthday is only a month away!
-jozlin
There are things he needs to work on, but Megan said that he is already showing improvement. We got to see some of the charts and hear about the things that they do to help Micah out. It was nice to be in an ARD with a group of people who really like your kid.
I would explain more, but I am so very tired. I guess I was more stressed about the ARD than I realized. I don't know why. It explains all the weird dreams though.
I have a post that I am editing. I'll post it by tomorrow.
Micah's birthday is only a month away!
-jozlin
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)